The 10 Marathon Signs I’m Sick Of Seeing

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I love that spectators come out to cheer on runners in every race I’ve run. Some like New York are incredible in scale. How can 26.2 miles be covered in several people deep lines of cheering? Others like Belfast are memorable for the local support and willingness to help.

However, I’m getting sick of the same signs at every race. The first time they were funny. The 8th time they get old. It’s time for some new ideas in the race sign world.

If Trump can run, so can you 

Also see: Hilary, Bernie, and Ted Cruz. It’s not really that funny for any variation. Except for Spiro T. Agnew. That’s just a funny name.

This is a lot of work for a free banana

Yes, but we sometimes also get bagels, Gatorade, beer, and even salt water taffy! It’s not a lot of work to have a healthy lifestyle. 

26.2 miles. Because 26.3 is just crazy

True the marathon distance is totally arbitrary and has nothing to do with Greek history; it’s actually from the London Olympics as it was the distance to allow the race to finish under the royal box. Also an additional .1 m probably would have killed me in at least 2/3 marathons.

Run like you stole something

Who would steal something and run at a moderate pace for 26.2 miles in a predetermined route? More like run like you have questionable morals.

Worst Parade Ever

Worst sign ever. Next!

Love your stamina. Call me

How did you meet mommy and daddy? Oh I was running a marathon and mommy’s poor understanding of capitalization and punctuation drew me in. And mommy just loved daddy’s bleeding nipples. 

Chaffe now, beer later

Because everyone wants to be reminded about how much they’re chaffing. And how much further they have to go before they can enjoy a beer. 

Touch here for power

This doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried about 50 times.

I thought this was a Netflix marathon

And I thought you’d come up with a new sign by now. 

If it was easy it’d be called your mother

The worst time I’ve seen this was when a 8 year old kid was holding it. How do you explain that to them? If it was easy, it’s be called your inappropriate parenting.

I don’t want people to stop supporting runners and signs are a great distraction while running, but maybe it’s time to update those signs folks.